8 Christmas Gifts to buy when you've already Blown your Student Loan

Chloe MacDonald
December 17, 2021

It’s December and you’re £70 into your overdraft. You haven’t bought any Christmas presents yet. You’re panicking. Maybe screaming in fear a little. You need to get this sorted, fast...

Don’t worry, here’s 8 Christmas gift ideas for when you’re completely skint.

1) A Farmfoods voucher you got through the door

farmfoods-leaflet-deals-offers-vouchers - CouponMamaUK

Okay, listen, it did expire in October but consider this: the employees in Farmfoods are too tired roaming that fluorescent frozen food hellscape to check. Enjoy your £2 off a £40 shop.

2) A printed-out image of a witch

Really spooky, just in time for Christmas

3) One of your old course books

Dad, I got you the perfect gift-- a copy of The Norton Anthology of Poetry 8th edition! I can tell by your blank expression that you can't wait to crack into it. I recommend the Plath poems, it makes being a woman seem really depressing.

The Norton Anthology of Poetry - 5th edition, Hobbies & Toys, Books &  Magazines, Fiction & Non-Fiction on Carousell
Editor's note: It's genuinely hard to find a picture of the eighth edition. Sorry about that. Here's the fifth.

Note: If unlike me you study an actually employable degree like Engineering instead of English, you could just link them to a paper about, I dunno… maths? Blueprints for a shed? Whatever it is you people do.

4) Half a bottle of alcohol that you can't drink anymore because it reminds you of throwing up

Sambuca Is the Unsung Hero of Your Liquor Cabinet with These 3 Cocktails |  Food & Wine

Every time I smell pink gin, I have a vivid flashback of frantically calling my dad to pick me up, then spending the entire car ride home hanging my head out the window trying not to boak. You know. Like a dog.

5) Your presence

You should just be glad I'm here. I could be in my flat eating microwaved macaroni cheese and freezing because I don't want to waste the electric, but instead I'm here getting home-cooked meals and the warmth that only the love of your family can bring. Hm. Okay, maybe I'm getting a better deal out of this than you lot are, but at uni my flatmate doesn't judge me for having takeaways multiple times a week.

6) A Tesco meal deal

Tesco Meal Deal competition: Supermarket launches bizarre Twitter challenge  - and gets 100k responses - Essex Live

The staple of a British diet. I've never felt a single ounce of nationalism for this miserable little island in my entire life— apart from when I think about the absolute bargain you can get at the local Tesco Metro. Pasta pot, Diet Coke and a Cadbury bar is the way to go. You can't change my mind.

7) Free samples you got at Freshers

Branded Pens Jersey - LAB-6

It's your lucky day, cos for your Christmas I've gotten you uh… a pen with a local job agency on it, free entry to a dreary club down the road AND a copy of the student newspaper. They just did a piece on the new sandwiches they've introduced in the library cafe; you wouldn't want to miss it. Spoiler: it's chutney and cheese.

8) Condoms from the Student Support Services

Free Condoms Service from the NHS | FreeSamples.co.uk

Give them to your wretched single pal as a sign of encouragement.

To read more from Chloe, head on over to her website at chloemacdonald.co.uk!

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