A week or so ago, we here at Dig-In released a very raunchy survey. Possibly the raunchiest survey ever conducted? No, almost definitely not. A girl on Bumble once asked me to complete a very graphic survey on fetishes and the like so she could know if I was on her level in bed. I didn’t do it. Anyway, I digress, this was certainly the raunchiest survey that we’ve ever conducted.
Among other things, we asked about favourite sex positions, certain fetishes, “body counts” and toys, and the results were pretty juicy. And when I say juicy, I actually mean that I’m somewhat disappointed in the proclivities of the students of the UK…
This little article won’t cover everything in the survey and is more of a taste for the full report that’s also on our website. I’ve just handpicked a few of the more fun responses.
Let’s start, as many do, with the first question. We asked students about their “body counts”. You probably already know this, but just in case, a body count is the amount of people you have slept with. This wasn’t a question to try and weed out the “cool shaggers” from the “losers” or anything, and there simply is no correlation between what sort of person you are and the amount of people you’ve had sex with, of course... it's just a good place to start a questionnaire about sex. Let’s see how that went…
So most students have slept with anywhere between two and five people. To be fair, when I put the survey together, I should have been more concrete about exactly what “sex” meant. There were a number of people who later specified that “I’ve just passionately kissed a few people, but I consider that sex” and put their body count as seven. It’s not on. On the flipside, there were a few people claiming over 100 sexual partners who I have simply chosen not to believe, and a couple clicking 50+ and saying “oh I lost count after 76. Come on mate. Pull the other one.
What is a fetish? Honestly I should have made that one more clear too, since a few people decided to click the “other” button and write anything from “pussy pumping” (which Urban Dictionary tells me means ‘The act of f*cking a female vagina in a rapid, steady manner’ (i.e. normal penetrative sex)), to “personality”. I’m sorry, but that’s not a fetish; it’s something one considers important in romantic relationships. What’s your fetish? "Oh that’s easy, when she knows how I’m feeling just by a look, finishes my sentences and long walks on the beach 😊😊😊”
Let’s have a look at the most popular fetishes with UK students…
A surprising amount of people into watersports, eh? Not judging, I’m just saying that I’m somewhat surprised. Whips and chains - I suppose general S&M/bondage - came out as the most popular fetish, with feet (for some reason the fetish I always assumed was the most commonplace) only being a tiny bit more popular than cucking… now that is a surprise. I’ll be honest, I mostly put cucking as an option for a joke, but hey you do you.
What “other” fetishes are people citing? Well, they’re all very varied and like I said, some people seem to consider cuddling or whatever a fetish. There was a lot of googling involved in me working out what certain answers actually meant, so I’ll outline a few below:
DD/LG: This one took a Googling. Daddy-Dom/Little Girl. Hmmmmm. Make of that what you will.
Brat-taming: Putting together this article has made me realise how vanilla I am. Fetish dot com describes brat-tamers as “Dominants who look for naughty, playful submissives, called brats. They love the challenge of keeping up with the mischievous antics of brats and providing suitable rules, punishments and rewards” and the good news is that I now have that on my search history. Is that someone throwing their dinner on the floor and screaming and having a strop while you’re trying to watch TV (like an unruly child might behave)? Boy, you’d sure hope not.
Armpits: alright this one is more fun and more what we were looking for. How does it work? Not sure. Is it like a “hold your arm down and I’ll sort-of f*ck the fold”? Again, I don’t know, but god knows this is a proper fetish. That’s what we’re here for.
Hands and blood play: Christ.
Ribs: Very fun. I do hope that is playing them like a xylophone. Probably isn’t though.
CNC: this one raised alarm bells, as it translates to Consensual Non-Consent. What that means, in short and to put it bluntly, is something known as “rape play”. Essentially roleplaying that one or more party is being sexually abused. The operative word here is “consent” as, technically, everything that happens in CNC is above board, but the fact remains that it does sort-of romanticise a horrific and life-ruining crime. I’m fully aware that “kink-shaming” is pretty frowned upon, so that’s all I’ll say about that.
Short men: I’m very happy to hear that one, being a goblin of 5’9”.
ABDP: There’s a few names for this but another Googling tells me this means “Adult Baby Diaper Play”. Very glad that’s on my search history. This is what incognito’s for and for some reason I keep forgetting about it.
Ones that came up more than once include: Sounding (sticking tubes and stuff up your urethra), Spitting, Body Hair, Pegging and Degradation. How lovely.
I'll finish up with one that we really all want to know the answer to. In my options, I listed Missionary, Cowboy/cowgirl, Doggy (which I think we can all agree is very much the "set menu",) and Spooning. Along with that, there was an "Other" button, that allowed you to suggest other favourite positions.
Given what I said earlier about students these days being disappointingly boring, it's no surprise that Missionary was the most popular position. There's a time and a place, sure, but pfft...
Next most popular was Doggy, and the least popular of the outlined options was Spooning. Spooning actually turned out to be as popular as the concept of "literally any other position in the world," with both it and Other getting 9% of votes each.
So what does Other mean in this case? I won't go into as much detail as I did with the fetishes here, and I'll just list a few off...
You had pile driver, tribbing, thigh ride, scissoring, speedbumb, spit roast, and legs on shoulders. Do I believe that the person who said Spit Roast has ever actually taken part in one of those? No. No I don't. Is Tribbing the same thing as Scissoring? As a heterosexual man whose wheelhouse tribbing and scissoring aren't in, I would say yes. Yes they are.
Now that's it from me. I do hope you enjoyed this article as much as I felt uncomfortable doing the research for it in a public communal workspace! If you want to check out the full report, you can do so here. Enjoy!